Generous December

On the prompting of the Generous Group Writing project I heard about thru a visit to Mama Zen's site, I would like to tell a story I don't believe I've ever told anyone. It has been one of those little secrets that give me a secret smile when I think of the holidays.

A few Decembers ago, my family decided to donate Christmas presents to a needy family. It was my turn to pick a charity, and I did a different approach. I picked a family I have been working with for a while & decided to anonymously donate presents to each and every one living in their household. I was working with a member of the family, a very young teen mother. She became very near and dear to my heart. The family struggled financially, and with other social issues such as domestic abuse, substance abuse, constant transient moving, and medical issues. But through all of this, the teen mother was constantly surprising me with her ability to rise above it all and choose a path that was never given to her. In our visits we would talk and talk about the family struggles, and after a while her mother joined us in talking about what life was like for her growing up. It was hard to listen to, and my heart broke listening to such a harsh way of growing up and learning about the world. The matriarch of the family did the very best that she could, be it with much hardship and many mistakes, but somehow instilled in her daughter this amazing ability to see the world differently and take full advantage of every opportunity to learn and grow.

I got to know the family deeply. They literally did not have anything. In their house, a card table and folding chairs were the depth of their living furniture. Children slept on mattresses on the floor. There weren't many toys. I started compiling a list of what would be great christmas presents for the family.

Everyone in my family was assigned a family member. When it came a time to drop off the gifts, I was so emotional on my drive over-the tears streamed down. I picked a day I knew the family wouldn't be home, snuck up the drive and piled the many, many presents on their doorstep. I was filled with so much joy at my sneakiness.

On my way back to the car, I noticed a young woman attempting to start her car. After multiple attempts, I saw her break into tears outside of her car. I started to pull my car out. Something stopped me. I did something so unlike me. I am a helping type of person, but not one to make the initiative with people I don't have an established relationship with. But, I did-something pulled me over there.

She was in a state of crisis. Her car needed a simple part & she was at risk of loosing her job. She revealed that she had been on assistance, but "her time was up" and it was no longer an option (women living in poverty only have 5 years lifetime total of financial assistance). I offered to take her to the parts store to see what her options were. She broke down in tears, ran into her house to get what little money she had, and entered my car. We drove across town to an auto parts store. On the way, she told me a bit about her struggles to make it as a single mother. She truly wanted to be self-sufficient, but the obstacles she faced made it near impossible. She just left an abusive relationship and decided to use her experience to help others. She became a domestic abuse advocate for other women. It didn't pay the bills, the grocery bill, the rent, or other basic living expenses.

We got to the parts store and I made the decision the minute I stepped in to pay for the parts and installation. It was an expense that was tough for me being it was close to the holidays, but something told me I had to do it. She refused to accept it, but after some pleading and convincing that there was a reason I saw her when I did, in the state that she was in, fate had willed this to happen. She could not stop hugging me and telling me this gift would help so many other women and karma would ensure it would come back to me. I can't say I've ever felt so fulfilled and at peace, other than at my children's births, than I did at that moment. It was a profound & sacred feeling, and it felt better to keep it to myself and honor it.

I had a secret smile on at my next visit when my teen mom said she had "the best Christmas ever". I have run into the other woman as well in the community, and she is indeed spreading her gift as an advocate to other women in crisis.

The young teen mom has now graduated high school (the first in her family to do so), and is attending my alma mater. She is in the nursing program and wants to be a Public Health Nurse and work with at risk families. On a side note, she also nursed her beautiful little girl with the chubbiest cheeks I've ever seen, for over 15 months--while attending High School! Amazing.

Sometimes we end up in the right places, at the right time and the world seems to align and lead us to what we are meant to do.

Please, take a moment to find the local domestic violence advocacy group in your area and donate generously. Also, take a moment to check out the Generous December link & write your own positive story. So many times we only here about the awful, tragic happenings in the world. Here is a chance to highlight the amazing moments that can change a person's trajectory in life.